Seven Deadly Sins
by ChrisColferLover
Summary: The glee club does the seven deadly sins.  Better than it sounds  Lots of starkid references and a puckelberry fic  also some Quam and Klaine .
1. Chapter 1

**Seven Deadly Sins**

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><p><strong>Okay- so I have no clue why I wrote this but I really wanted to incorporate seven deadly sins into one of these and this is kind of what happened. Plus its a Puckelberry fic! Anyways I've put a few starkid references in it. i'm kind of in that mood cause I just watched another one of their plays.<strong>

**I hope you guys like it. It was just for fun. **

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><p>Mr. Schue. looked down at his notebook. He had picked a theme for the week that he was really excited about... SEVEN DEADLY SINS! For halloween! The kids were going to love it. He just needed to figure out how to group them.<p>

He wrote down _greed_. Who in the group was greedy? They were all suck good kids!

He tapped his pencil on the paper. Santana was kind of greedy with boys... and Rachel was greedy with her solos and Finn was kind of greedy with girls. Mr. Schue. nodded and wrote down their names.

_Gluttony._

Well... Mercedes had started that whole tot petition thing... and then there was Lauren...

_Pride._

Who didn't have a lot of pride in the group! He sighed. Artie didn't, Tina didn't, Mercedes didn't, Brittany didn't. He wrote down everyone else's names.

_Wrath._

That one was easy. He wrote down Santana, Puck, Finn, Quinn, Sam, and Lauren. He knew that from the numerous times he stopped hallway fights.

_Envy._

That one was kind of easy too. Santana, Kurt, Rachel, Artie, Finn, Quinn, and Mercedes.

_Lust._

Mr. Schue. stopped for a moment. There was definitely Santana, Puck, and Brittany. And then Quinn always cheated on everyone. Kurt and Rachel both got really huge crushes on people and wouldn't stop until they were there's or they were hurt by them. Artie was always making all those sexual jokes too. Finn kept on going after Rachel when he was dating Quinn. And then... he didn't have Tina anywhere else. She didn't really fit into any of the other categories. Well- there was the thing with her and Mike and Artie. So he put down her name.

_Sloth_

That was unfortunately easy too. He put down Puck, Finn, Lauren, and Brittany.

He looked down at his list. Now all he had to do was split them into groups.

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><p>"Okay for sloth we're going to have Brittany and Finn," Mr. Schue said reading off his paper.<p>

Brittany and Finn looked at each other. They were both really confused what a sloth had to do with the seven deadly sins.

"Then for gluttony we have... Lauren and Mercedes"

Mercedes and Lauren looked at each other.

"Mr. Schu- are you sure this was chosen at random?" Mercedes asked.

Mr. Schue nodded nervously.

"Ugh- anyways. Greed is going to be paired with gluttony which will be Santana"

Santana rolled her eyes.

"And then pride will be-"

Mr. Schue spotted Rachel straightening up in her seat confidently. "Mike, Kurt, Blaine and..." he paused. Tina was kind of confident. "Tina"

Rachel frowned.

"You guys can split up into groups of two" Mr. Schue said. The couples immediately held hands.

"Then envy will be Artie which will be pared with wrath which will be Sam and Quinn"

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Finally lust will be Puck and Rachel"

Rachel and Puck looked at Mr. Schue confused. Finn stood up.

"Ugh... Mr. Schue. Rachel's my girl- Rachel isn't very lusty. I don't really know if it would be cool to have her be singing about lust with some other guy"

Rachel looked down. She hadn't accepted his wanting to get back together again at sectionals last year. He was a jerk to her and... there may or may not be somebody else for her.

"Its fine Finn" she said a little bit.

Puck sighed. He had just broke up with Lauren a few weeks ago and he really wanted a really hot girl to be with- not one that wore animal sweaters. Santana wasn't speaking to him though and neither was Brittany. So he was going to try to go after Quinn. But that would suck because he had to sing about lust with Rachel fricken Berry. The bell rang.

"Well everyone have fun! Get ready to present next week with your costumes on" Mr. Schue said. Then he thought for a moment and turned to Rachel and Puck. "Try to keep it appropriate".

Puck groaned. There was no doubt Berry would.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry we don't have any sloth costumes" the store clerk said.<p>

"There has to be something here" Finn said.

The store clerk looked at the blonde cheerleader and the freakishly tall teenage boy standing in front of her.

"Why do you two want sloth costumes?"

"Because we need to be sloths for halloween. Its part of our groups theme" Finn explained.

"And your theme was... animals?"

"No- seven deadly sins" Brittany said.

The store clerk sighed.

"Oh... sloth means laziness"

"I thought a sloth was an animal" Brittany said confused.

"Yeah- but that's where the word sloth comes from because sloths are so slow"

Finn nodded pretending to be understanding.

"So do you have any costumes for that?" he asked.

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><p>"So we need lots of bling. Lots of it. And we need it now!" Santana demanded to the manager at the arts supplies store.<p>

"I really don't think Mr. Schue. chose these at random" Lauren whispered to Mercedes.

"I'm sorry- we don't sell jewelry here"

"Rhinestones! Sequins! Anything shiny! Seriously! Be creative if your going to be calling yourself manager here!"

The manager nodded quickly.

"Right this way ladies" he said.

He lead them through an aisle of everything Santana had listed.. and more.

"Which glitter works better on fabric?" Santana asked examining two bottles.

Lauren and Mercedes rolled their eyes. They were both really jealous of everyone else's sins. They had decided to just sew cut outs of food onto their outfits.

"Which two fabrics look more like a jewelry boxes?" Santana asked holding up red, blue, and black satin looking fabric. The two pointed to the red and black ones.

"Perfect" said Santana. "I am going to look so hot for halloween this year"

Lauren sighed but then Mercedes thought for a moment. While Santana went of to go find some thread to match her fabrics Mercedes turned to Lauren.

"I have a better idea Lauren" she said happily.

Lauren sighed.

"Mercedes- how could we possibly make gluttony look good?"

Mercedes smiled.

"Lauren- what's your favorite food?"

"This is going to be so awesome Blaine!" Kurt said happily. "We're going to be so amazing"

Blaine laughed.

"Yeah- you definitely got the pride thing down"

Kurt rolled his eyes smiling then looked down at his sketches.

"I think we should wear something very flashy that says look at me" he said.

Blaine nodded.

"That would be perfect! And we should try to be outdoing each other!"

Kurt nodded happily.

"Oh! And I know the perfect song for that!" he said.

"We totally got this Kurt!"

"I know!"

"Best team ever!"

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><p>"Okay... what do we do now?" Tina asked looking down at her paper. She had drawn the outline of her models for the sketches.<p>

"Um... I have no clue" Mike said.

"Can you think of any songs that I can sing to and you can dance to?"

Mike shrugged.

"Well- um- we'll have this. It will come to us"

Mike nodded.

They were both silent for a moment.

"Maybe we could try a broadway song" Tina suggested.

"Yeah... that could work" Mike said.

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><p>"Okay! No! I am not doing that song!" Quinn screamed.<p>

"Come on Quinn! Its funny!" Artie said.

"No! Its weird! Okay!"

"Yeah well I'm not going for the biker look" said Sam.

"Your lucky you get to have that" said Artie.

"I think to look tough I should just wear like what Puck wears or something" said Sam.

"No guys. No! Artie is wearing green and you are going to look like a real badass. I'm wearing leather too okay?" Quinn said looking hopefully at Sam.

"No" he said.

Quinn crossed her arms.

"Whatever but we are going to sing 'Your A God' by vertical horizon. It is a perfectly good song for this" she said.

"Why do you get to make all the rules?" Artie asked.

"I'm just trying to make us look good!" Quinn screamed.

"Well we aren't doing that song!" Sam yelled.

Quinn frowned. Artie wished he was in a different group. They all seemed to be getting along.

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><p>Rachel smiled at Puck who was in her room strumming his guitar.<p>

"I think I found a song you'll like" she said happily.

"What?" he asked. He was so bored. He wondered if Quinn would be through with her group soon. He was going to try to ask her out once he could leave Rachel.

"'No Tomorrow' by Orson" Rachel said.

Puck looked at her blankly.

"That song isn't about lust Rachel. Its about a guy having a good time with his girlfriend"

"Okay" Rachel said still smiling.

Puck rolled his eyes. Why was she acting so weird?

"Oh! This is good" she said looking at her computer screen.

"What?"

"All over you by the spill canvas"

Puck sighed.

"Maybe"

Rachel smiled and wrote down the song on a piece of paper.

"Oh- oh no you'll probably hate this song"

Puck didn't say anything. Rachel turned to him.

"Am I boring you?" she asked.

Puck sighed.

"Nope... not at all"

"Cause- you can always tell you if I am"

Puck nodded. She stared at him for a little bit.

"What song did you want to do?" he asked sighing.

"Your gonna laugh"

'_Why me! Why did I have to be with her!' _Puck thought.

"I swear I will not laugh"

Rachel smiled and took a deep breath.

"Okay... you know that song 'Fool For Love' by Stefy?"

"No" said Puck.

"Oh... then nevermind"

"No. You can show it to me"

Rachel nodded and took a deep breath. There was this weird look in her eye. Like she was nervous and excited or something.

_I'm feeling kinda strange_

_ 'Cause of all the things you say_

_ Yeah I know, too good to believe_

_ This probably won't work_

_ 'Cause your kind of a jerk_

_ And for sure you're way to cool for me_

She began using her hairbrush as a microphone and smiling at him. It was really weirding Puck out. What was going on with her? And why would Rachel Berry sing this song?

_No matter how I try _

_ Cannot plot to make you cry_

_ So I won't take you seriously_

_ 'Cause I miss you so much _

_ I get my panties in a bunch_

_ Everytime your-_

"Woah! Berry! Woah! Stop" Puck said.

She looked at him confused.

"Um-" he started. He felt a little hot. What the hell? "I don't think I can sing that song too. Its kind of a chic song".

"Oh... yeah. Your right" Rachel said nodding and sitting down. She seemed a little embarrassed.

Puck quickly crossed his legs.

"Um- ugh..." he started. He looked down at his phone. "I have to go. Can we work on this tomorrow".

Rachel looked kind of sad.

"Oh... okay. You don't want to work on the costumes?"

"No no. I'll take care of that" Puck said getting up quickly walking out of the room. "See you"

* * *

><p>Did that seriously just happen? Did Puck seriously get turned on by Rachel freaking Berry? What the hell?<p>

Maybe he was just having an off day. He dialed Quinn's number.

"Hey Quinn," he said.

"Puck? Why are you calling me?"

"I'm not allowed to call you?"

"Well... we never... talk"

"Well maybe we should"

"Puck... are you trying to ask me out- because the answer is no"

"Why not Quinn? We had a fricken baby together!"

"Yes- we did. Because you got me drunk and you went out with other girls the whole time and then went to juvie"

"So?"

"So- I'm not interested"

"Qu-" Puck started but she hung up.

Puck sighed. Seriously? She still had to be holding all of that against him?

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><p>"Wow guys. You have seriously found the only way to make a pizza and cupcake look cute" Santana said a little bitterly.<p>

Mercedes twirled around in her pink skirt and top that was pink with little silver and colorful dots all over the bottom half of it and was red with a cherry stem for a sleeve on the top. Lauren had on yellow pants with red dots on them and a bread colored long sleeve top. The two of them grinned at Santana.

"Thanks it was Mercedes idea" said Lauren.

Santana nodded.

"Well then all we need is our song," she said slipping into her short black dress with a red sash around the middle and on the hem and a small line of it outlining the cut on top of her dress. She had bedazzled pretty much the whole thing with different colored rhinestones. She wore metallic silver high heeled boots and bedazzled false eyelashes.

"Wow you look amazing" said Mercedes still a little jealous.

"Thanks," she said.

"So song" Lauren said. "I got one from one of my favorite movies"

"Is it 'Oliver Twist'" Santana asked grinning.

Lauren sighed.

"No. The song is not 'Food Glorious Food'. Plus- that wouldn't even go with you. Your greed. The song is about kids begging for food"

"Okay- well then what song has to do with food and greed that's in a movie?"

Lauren smiled.

"I thought you really liked Puck" Sam said.

"No I don't! I never did. It was just one huge mistake" Quinn said back.

"What about..." Sam started. "Nevermind"

Quinn looked down.

"No... Finn was a mistake too. He's an idiot. You aren't an idiot. I'm an idiot"

"Hey- no your not"

"Yeah I am Sam! I'm an effin idiot!"

"N-" Sam started.

"Hey guys" Artie said rolling up to them.

They were both kind of quiet. Artie felt like he was sort of missing out on something here.

* * *

><p>Everyone walked into the choir room except for Rachel and Brittany and Finn. Puck just sat where he was not really caring. That was until...<p>

"Noah! I was trying to get in touch with you all weekend! Did you get my text?"

"Ugh... yeah sure"

"Well you didn't text me back Noah!" Rachel said angrily sitting down with the group crossing her arms.

Kurt and Blaine laughed at the complete accidental reference to a very potter sequel.

"Well everyone settle down" said Mr. Schue. happily. "We have our first performance today by Brittany and Finn. Okay guys! We're ready!" he called out.

Everyone started clapping until they saw them. They were wearing their normal clothes but they had a piece of paper tapped to their shirts that said _sloth _on them. Finn put the boom box down on the piano.

"We found this song on itunes and we were like- no way! Too perfect" he said enthusiastically. "Who knew they had a song just for this very situation!"

Everyone looked at them blankly. Finn pressed play on the bom box and he and Brittany began doing a clap stomp thing to the beat. Finn began to sing.

_Sloths so very peaceful_

_ Eating bugs... tender shoots and leaves_

He and Brittany turned to each other smiling completely oblivious to the reaction of Mr. Schue and the rest of the glee club. Brittany sang.

_Sloths you maintain low body temperatures_

_ About 30... to 34 degrees_

Finn: _Oh sloth_

Brittany: _Sloth_

Together: _You're so... slow_

They began walking around in exaggerated slow motion smiling.

Brittany: _But sloth_

Finn: _Sloth_

Together: _I love you so!_

They began to mimic playing the guitar.

Together: _Sloth... Rock yeah!_

_ Sloth... Rock yeah!_

_ Sloth... Rock yeah!_

_ Sloth... Rock yeah!_

Brittany turned to the audience who was gaping in disbelief that this was really happening.

_Sloth you're lazy like me_

_ I think I've found a soulmate_

She hugged Finn and the two of them went back into the chorus still hugging. Then the song went into an instrumental part and Finn held out his arm and Brittany tried to hang from it. They both fell down knocking over a few chairs. Everyone stood up to help them.

"We're good" Brittany said.

The two of them stood up and went back into the center of the room. Finn started to sing.

_Infant sloths cling to their mothers fur_

_ And occasionally they fall off_

He turned to Brittany and the two of them coughed. Brittany started singing then.

_I wouldn't laugh at them though_

_ And if I did, I'd stifle it with a cough_

They went in the chorus again and started fist pumping whenever they would say _Rock yeah_! When they were done Brittany and Finn hugged each other again and cheered. Santana and Artie slowly clapped a little bit.

"You guys didn't like it?" Brittany asked sadly.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Mr. Schue finally spoke up.

"I don't really think you understood the assignment. When I said sloth I meant laziness"

"Isn't that what that person at the store told us?" Finn asked Brittany.

"I thought she was lying" Brittany whispered back.

"Well- anyways. You two were able to demonstrate the characteristic of sloth... even though you didn't mean to..." Mr. Schue said.

"What are you talking about! We spent hours memorizing this song!" Finn said.

Mr. Schue sighed.

"Um... sorry" there was silence. "Well let's just make sure that everyone else understands what their words mean"

He wrote all of them on his board.

"Greed means to be selfish and possessive of things that are yours or you have power over. Gluttony is to have some sort of greedy thing you do constantly or excessive eating"

Mercedes and Lauren looked at each other realizing the project would've been less painful if they had looked up the definition.

"Envy is jealousy. Wrath is extreme anger or violence. Pride is kind of like being self absorbed or conceited or excessively confident. And lust means to have a very strong- usually sexual- desire for someone"

Puck nervously looked over at Rachel who was looking at him. He suddenly felt really awkward again.

"Is anyone ready to go tomorrow?" he asked.

Kurt's hand immediately shot up.

"Okay Kurt and Blaine tomorrow representing pride! Alright!" Mr. Schue said smiling. Santana raised her hand too. Mercedes looked down wishing she had given them time to possibly rework the assignment.

"Okay! This is great guys! I'm really excited to see what the rest of you have. Finn and Brittany- that was... a really good job,"

The two of them smiled stupidly.

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><p><strong>Here's the link to the sloth song in case anyone wanted it. .comwatch?v=9wScg0_2Y_U**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee or any of the things I reference in this**

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for all the positive reviews! It really made my day :)<strong>

**I realized I had so many mistakes on the last chapter so I'll try to fix it up. I hope you like the songs I chose for these two performances. I think they were both my favorites to write. **

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><p>"Noah Puckerman!" Rachel called out to Puck who was sneaking his way out of the choir room. He sighed and turned around.<p>

"What?"

"We need to work on our assignment! Kurt and Blaine have theirs ready! Santana, Lauren and Mercedes have theirs ready. Quinn, Sam, and Artie almost have theirs ready. And you know... we're a group. We need to actually spend time together and work on this"

Puck looked at her face. She looked kind of shy. Seriously! What was her deal? It was making him feel weird.

"Fine" he said. "Let's go to my place today though"

Rachel nodded smiling.

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><p>"And he kept on trying all these pick up lines and being all sexy and everything but seriously. Can't he just take a hint? He looks like an idiot" Quinn said to Sam.<p>

Sam shrugged.

"He just wants me for sex which makes it even worse. Even if it wasn't for that I still would say no a million times"

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because Puck's an idiot. I want someone smart and cool and that I didn't have a baby with" she said.

She looked at him. He looked down at her.

"Okay guys I really think this song is perfect. Quinn can we please do it-" Artie said rolling into the room.

Quinn sighed.

"Whatever fine! We'll do the stupid song!"

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><p>Puck played the chords on his guitar and sang to Rachel who was sitting beside him wide eyed and smiling.<p>

_Yeah he's a looker_

_ But I really think it's guts that matter most_

_ I displayed them for you,_

_ Strewn out about from coast to coast_

Rachel took a breath and sang.

_I am easily make believe_

_ Just dress me up in what you want me to be_

Puck missed his cue and played the wrong chord.

"Sorry sorry" he said.

_"What the hell?"_ he thought.

"Its okay" Rachel said still smiling. "Do you want to try another verse?"

Puck nodded.

"Okay right after the first chorus"

Puck began playing his guitar again. Rachel sang.

_In my daydreams, in my sleep_

_ Infatuation turing into disease_

_ You could cure me, see all you have to do now is please try_

Puck joined in with her.

_Give it your best shot and try_

_ All I'm asking for is love, _

_ But you never seem to have enough_

_ I gotta feel you in my bones again_

Rachel went solo.

_I'm all over you_

_ I'm not over you_

_ I wanna taste you one more time again_

Puck missed his cue again.

"Shit" he said.

Rachel laughed. "Its fine. Don't worry about it".

"Rachel... I don't know about this song..."

"What?" she asked confused. "I thought you really liked this song"

Puck shrugged. "What do you want to sing?"

Rachel's face brightened.

"Well... um remember when we sang 'Need You Now'? Well that turned out really good. So- I heard this other song that I thought would also be kind of good for us. Its kind of a little girly but it will really show off our vocal skills" Rachel said rambling.

"What is it?" Puck asked.

"Well... I don't know if its the sexiest song ever but... 'Don't You Want To Stay' with Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson"

"Oh... um... sure why not?"

"Do you want to work on it?" Rachel asked.

Puck looked at her.

"I don't know it on guitar"

"That's okay" Rachel said with a smile. "We can just practice the vocals"

"No- I'm fine"

"Oh... okay" Rachel said confused.

"So costumes. What have we got there?" Puck asked.

"Well I actually brought a dress with me to school today. I was going to show it to you," Rachel said. "I'll go put it on," she said walking into the bathroom.

She looked in the mirror fixing her hair and make up and slipping into her dress. She smiled in the mirror to check her teeth.

Okay... she was in love with Puck. She was really hoping that this whole project thing was going okay. They were best friends and everything- but he just never seemed to want to be anything more than that. At all. But she really did.

She walked out of the bathroom expecting Puck to gape or something instead he kind of just looked at her.

"Do you think this is sexy enough?" Rachel asked.

Puck looked at her confused.

"Rachel... its like almost at your knees and it doesn't show any cleavage. Or anything..."

"Yeah... I know but I thought the back was sexy" she said turning around.

The dress had a slightly open back.

"Whatever you want Rachel" said Puck.

Rachel looked down.

"Okay" she said.

"Don't get me wrong- its very you... but I don't know. It doesn't..." Puck stopped.

Rachel looked at him.

"It doesn't what?"

"Nothing"

"Were you going to say something gross?"

Puck rolled his eyes.

"Yes"

* * *

><p>"Okay everyone. Right now we are going to see Blaine and Kurt do the first representation of pride" said Mr. Schue.<p>

Everyone applauded. The two walked out. Kurt then turned to Blaine and got into his face.

"Anything you can do-" he said pointing his finger on Blaine's chest. "I! Can do better!"

Blaine raised his eyebrows and laughed. Rachel, Tina, and Mercedes cheered. The rest of the group had no clue what song they were about to sing until Kurt began to sing.

_I can do anything better than you!_

Blaine shook his head grinning and said "No you can't"

Kurt smiled back and said "Yes I can"

"No you can't"

"Yes I can"

"No you can't"

Kurt started to sing again.

_Yes I can, yes I can!_

Then Blaine started to sing.

_Anything you can be_

_ I can be greater_

_ Sooner or later I'm greater than you_

Blaine teasingly shrugged at Kurt.

"No your not" Kurt said crossing his arms.

"Yes I am"

"No your not"

"Yes I am"

"No your not"

Blaine sang again.

_Yes I am! Yes I am!_

Then he started dancing around Kurt.

_I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge_

Kurt pushed him out of the way and pointed to himself.

_I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow_

Blaine pushed Kurt back and sang.

_I can live on bread on cheese._

Kurt tapped him on the shoulder and said "and only on that?".

Blaine nodded his head superiorly and said "Yup"

Kurt scoffed and turned the other way holding up his hands and said "So can a rat"

Blaine frowned and grabbed Kurt's shoulders and spun him around and sang.

_Any note you can sing_

_ I can sing higher._

Kurt raised his eyebrow and sang.

_I can sing any note higher than you._

The two of them started to compete singing higher and then Kurt went extremely high singing:

_Yes I caaaaaaaaaaaannnn!_

Blaine's eyes widened and he stumbled backwards. A bunch of people laughed and applauded.

"How do you sing that high?" Blaine asked.

"I'm a soprano!" Kurt yelled to Blaine's face.

Blaine rolled his eyes then sang.

_Anything you can say I can say softer!_

Kurt shook his head and sang.

_I can sing anything softer than you_

They both started to compete singing softer getting closer to each other and then Kurt screamed in Blaine's face: YES I CAAAAANN!

Blaine held his head but then continued singing.

_I can drink my liquor_

_ Faster than a flicker_

Kurt shook his head.

_I can drink it quicker_

_ AND get even sicker!_

Blaine sang.

_I can open any safe!_

"Without getting caught?" Kurt asked.

"You bet!" Blaine said confidently.

Kurt smacked him on the shoulder and yelled "That's what I thought you crook!"

Blaine rolled his eyes again and sang.

_Any note you can hold I can hold longer_

Kurt laughed.

_I can hold any note longer than you!_

They both competed on who could hold the note longer. Blaine gave in but Kurt still held the note. Blaine looked at him in confusion. Kurt proceeded to hold the note for twenty seconds and then quietly said "can". Blaine raised his eyebrows and sang.

_Yes you can!_

Kurt smiled.

Blaine continued singing.

_Anything you can say I can say faster!_

Kurt laughed.

_I can say anything faster than you_

They both started to compete singing faster while laughing. Then Blaine pushed Kurt away and began singing again.

_I can jump a hurdle_

Kurt sang

_I can wear I girdle_

Blaine sang mimicking sewing.

_I can knit a sweater_

Kurt ran his hands down his sides and sang.

_I can fill it better._

Blaine leaned over to him and sang.

_I-can-do-most-anything_

Kurt raised his eyebrows and asked "can you bake a pie"

Blaine looked down and said "no"

Kurt bit his lip and said "neither can I"

Blaine started singing again.

_Anything you can sing _

_ I can sing sweeter_

Kurt laughed and sang.

_I can sing anything sweeter than you_

They both competed to try to sing sweeter. And then Blaine got madder and sang.

_No you can't- can't! CAN'T!_

Kurt angrily sang back.

_Yes i can- can! CAN!_

Then they sang at the same time.

_Yes I- (No you-)_

_ CAAAANNN! (CAAAAN'TTT!)_

Then they bowed as everyone applauded them. They laughed and quickly kissed each other.

"Wow! That was so amazing!" Mr. Schue said. "I was wondering when the day would come where two of you guys would try to do that song"

Kurt and Blaine beamed and walked back to their seats.

"Shit! How do we follow that?" Lauren asked Mercedes and Santana.

"Just shut up and follow me" Santana said.

The three of them left the room to change into their costumes quickly. Mercedes and Lauren walked out in their costumes everyone cheered. All of the sudden Santana walked out and said "hey daddy! I want a golden goose!" she whined.

"Here we go again" Lauren sighed.

Everyone who understood what they were doing laughed.

"Alright sweetheart- alright- daddy'l get you a golden goose as soon as we get home" Mercedes said consoling Santana.

"No! I want one of those!" Santana whined pointing off into a corner.

"Wonka- how much do you want for the golden goose?" Mercedes asked Lauren.

"They're not for sale" Lauren said crossing her arms.

"Name your price" Mercedes said insistently.

"She can't have one"

"WHO SAYS I CAN'T!" Santana said turning to Lauren.

"The man with the funny hat" Mercedes said to her.

"I want one!" Santana said stomping her foot. "I want a golden goose!"

Then she started to sing.

_Gooses, geese's _

"I want my goose to lay gold eggs for easter" she said.

"It will sweetheart" Mercedes said.

"At least a hundred a day"

"Anything you say"

Santana started to sing again.

_And by the way_

Lauren started singing.

_I want a feast_

"You ate before you came to the factory" Mercedes said still turned to Santana.

Lauren sang again.

_I want a big feast_

"Oh one of those" Mercedes said.

Lauren sang again.

_Cream buns and donuts _

_ And fruitcakes with no nuts_

_ So good you could go nuts_

"You can have all those things when you get home"

"No now!" Santana whined. "I want a ball!"

Santana started to sing.

_I want a party_

Mercedes sang.

_Pink macaroons and a million balloons_

_ And performing baboons and_

Santana sang.

_Give it to me! _

"Veruca-" Mercedes started but Santana elbowed her in the stomach.

"NOW!" she yelled.

She started to sing.

_I want the world_

_ I want the whole world_

Lauren sang

_I want to lock it all up in my pocket_

_ Its my bar of chocolate_

Mercedes sang.

_Give it to me nooooww_

_ I want today!_

_ I want tomorrow!_

Santana sang.

_I want to wear 'em like braids in my hair_

_ And I don't want to share 'em!_

Lauren sang.

_I want a party with rooms full of laughter_

_ Ten thousand tons of ice scream._

Mercedes leaned to the audience.

_And if I don't get the things I am after_

_ I am going to screeeeeeEEEEMM!_

They all began dancing around the choir room while everyone laughed at them clapping.

Santana sang.

_I want the works!_

_ I want the whole works!_

Lauren sang.

_Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises_

_ Of all shapes and sizes_

Mercedes sang.

_And noooow!_

_ Don't- care- how!_

_ I want it now!_

Santana then climbed up on top of the piano which Mercedes and Lauren stood behind holding out their arms so the rest of the club couldn't see.

Santana sang

_Don't care how!_

Santana held up her arms and stepped back.

_I want it noooo_

Then she fell back still singing.

_Owwwwww..._

Laruen and Mercedes caught her and put her down onto the floor. The glee club burst into laughter. Mercedes and Lauren stepped away from the piano.

"She was a bad egg" Lauren said. She started to walk away but Mercedes grabbed her.

"Where's she gone?" she asked.

"Where all the other bad eggs go. Down the garbage shoot"

Mercedes looked horrified.

"Not- the garbage shoot? Where too?"

"The furnace"

Mercedes stumbled. Everyone laughed again and clapped. Santana got up from under the piano and they all bowed.

"Wow guys! Both of you were outstanding today" Mr. Schue said applauding.

Rachel stood up.

"Santana if this school ever did a production of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory I would be willing to give up my dream role of Veruca Salt to you" she said.

"Shut up Berry" Santana said still smiling.

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><p><strong>I promise next chapter will be less focused on the songs but I was really excited about the songs in the chapter :) I hope you liked it.<strong>

**Quinn, Artie, and Sam are performing next chapter! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee or any of the references I make to any starkid productions**

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><p><strong>THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! You guys are awesome.<strong>

**Sorry it took so long to upload this. School sucks!**

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><p>Rachel walked through the hallway with Kurt.<p>

"You and Blaine were seriously amazing today" she said.

"Thanks. I bet yours is going to be great too"

"Yeh-" Rachel started but something caught her attention.

Puck and Quinn were by Quinn's locker and Puck was grinning at her talking to her. His eyes we dilated. Dilated! That meant he was turned on. Rachel chocked a little.

"Rach- what's wrong?" Kurt asked.

She buried her face into her hands and rushed down the hallway.

"Wait! Rachel! Your driving me to your house! I left my car at home!" he called after her.

What they missed was Quinn yelling at Puck.

"Just leave me alone! Why can't you just get it Puck! Why!"

"Because I love you"

Quinn raised her eyebrows and then laughed.

"Oh you love me? That's really funny Puck" then she walked away.

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><p>Kurt handed Rachel another tissue and rubbed her back.<p>

"Rachel what's going on?" he asked.

Rachel sniffed.

"If I told you you'd laugh at me"

"Do you still like Finn?"

"Hell no!" Rachel said sounding repulsed.

"Good... then what is it?"

Rachel sighed.

"Its... its Noah"

Kurt's eyes widened.

"What! Puck!"

Rachel nodded.

"But... it doesn't even matter. He doesn't even like me. He just likes Quinn"

Another tear rolled down her face.

"Well... Puck- he's... Puck. I'm sure he'll come around and realize just how awesome you are"

"Yeah right. This isn't some movie or something"

"Well I have on good authority that Quinn doesn't like him at all. So that won't last forever"

"Really?"

"Really"

Rachel looked down.

"I hope its soon. I really really like him"

"I know sweetie- I know" Kurt said hugging her towards him.

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><p>Quinn looked at herself in the mirror. She wore a purple dress, a black leather jacket, fishnets, and knee high black boots with her short blonde hair slightly spiked and with a few purple high lights. On her hands she wore fingerless gloves.<p>

"I look like a prostitute" she said.

"No you don't" said a voice behind her.

She jumped.

"Sam! What are you doing in the girls bathroom!"

"We keep on getting interrupted by Artie- and I know that he wouldn't go in here- so now that we know he isn't coming I'd like to do this" he said and then he kissed her lips.

Quinn looked at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Did you just eat a breath mint?"

Sam nodded his head grinning.

"Awesome" Quinn said and wrapped her arms around him kissing him back.

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><p>The glee club looked at the clock.<p>

"I think Quinn told me she'd be wearing a lot of make up for this" Santana said.

Mr. Schue nodded. At that moment Quinn and Sam rushed into the room breathing heavily.

"Sorry- had a little encounter with Karofsky" Sam lied.

Artie wheeled over to them suspiciously.

"Um- okay... lets do this then"

Quinn nodded. They all lined up in front of the club. All of the sudden Quinn burst into song.

_Remember that time_

_ You wouldn't talk to me_

She danced around Sam who was grinning at her then she faced him.

_Yesterday!_

Kurt and Blaine cheered them on. Artie wheeled up to them as they danced with each other.

_We were getting along_

_ Had a little dancey thing_

_ Well here's the song I sing!_

_ My way_

Sam turned to Quinn who suddenly looked like she was rejecting him.

_It was gonna be fine!_

_ But you didn't wanna be_

She sang to him.

_Be the man who would be with me_

_ No way!_

Artie started to sing to Quinn who sat down on his lap.

_And now your saying its time_

_ Why you gotta be like that_

_ I don't like the way you act_

_ Around me!_

Then Sam took Quinn's hands and pulled her up off Arties lap and spun her to his other side and the three of them all faced the audience and sang together.

_So baby come on, come on..._

The all looked down then Quinn looked up and broke into the chorus walking in front of them.

_Well don't you tell me to go_

_ And say "I'm the one"_

_ D-d-d-do you think I'm dumb?_

_ I'm sorry! Did I just stutter!_

Sam looked up and walked over to Quinn pretending to yell at her.

_Won't tell you what you know_

_ But this is the end_

_ You were never my friend_

Artie looked up.

_You were never my- you were never my lover_

They all broke out into a dance. Then Artie rolled over to Quinn and sang.

_Remember that night?_

_ When I saw you tremblin' there?_

_ I remembered, "I don't care,"_

_ 'bout you_

Sam put his arm around Quinn and the two of them sang to Artie,

_I'm rememberin' how_

_ You thought you were at the top,_

_ Well I think we're better off_

_ Without you!_

Quinn pushed Sam away and sang to him.

_And I got your number..._

_ And I don't mean in my phone_

_ Would've already just thrown it out_

Sam sang back to her.

_If I'd known about_

_ The way you bitch and moan_

Quinn crossed her eyes and walked back to Artie who sang to her.

_Remember that way- _

_ How you were out of line?_

_ Well now you're way outta time!_

Quinn shook her head and sang.

_So tell me what you want on your tombstone!_

They all faced away from each other and sang.

_Come on_

_ Come on_

Quinn walked up to Sam and sang.

_Oh don't you tell me to go_

_ And say "I'm the one"_

Sam sang back to her.

_We're su-su-su-sorry we are done!_

_ 'Scuse me- did I just stutter?_

Artie rolled over to them and sang.

_Won't tell you what you know_

_ But this is the end..._

Quinn pushed him away and he crossed his arms looking back at her and Sam enviously. Quinn sang to Sam.

_You were never my friend_

_ You were never my-_

Sam put his hand over her mouth and sang.

_You were never my lover_

Quinn shoved him away and the two of them broke out into a dance together. Then Quinn shook her finger at him.

_It's too bad you a loser_

_ Too bad you wast my time_

Sam pushed her hand out of the way and sang out.

_Good thing that I'm around_

_ To keep your ass in line!_

He pulled her towards him and the two of them glared at each other. Artie rolled out looking miserable and sang.

_..You were never my-_

_ You were never my lover_

The glee club applauded.

"Well I think that captured wrath and envy very well" Mr. Schue said.

"What?" Brittany asked looking to Finn who just shrugged.

"Good job guys" Mr. Schue said.

The three of them grinned. Sam and Quinn were still wrapped around each other looking into each other's eyes.

"Hey guys the songs over" Puck said.

Quinn looked over to him and glared. Rachel looked down. Kurt patted her on the shoulder.

"You know what Mr. Schue. I think me and Rachel should go tomorrow" Puck said standing up still looking at Quinn.

Rachel looked up at him confused.

"Noah- I don't think-" she started.

"Don't worry- we'll have the costumes done. Come on" he said.

He took her hand and pulled her out of the choir room. Rachel looked back at Kurt who just shrugged at her.

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><p><strong>Okay for those of you who don't know the song is <span>stutter<span> from a very potter musical. I don't know why i used it- I was just in the mood.**

**Next chapter might be the last chapter. I'm not really sure. I suck at endings though so I might just continue it. Puck and Rachel are performing! Yay!**


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